Previous Event

September 10, 2006

"Domestic Violence 101"
by Melinda Pettingill, Education and Outreach Specialist YWCA of Salt Lake City

Melinda Pettingill presents information and teaches classes focused on the dynamics of Domestic Violence, as well as the resources and assistance available to victims, through the YWCA and other community organizations.  She runs several local Domestic Violence support groups.  Melinda also runs several weekly groups focused on developing healthy relationships including a Healthy Relationships group in the Salt Lake County Jail, and two teenage Domestic Violence/Healthy Relationships groups.

The information presented by Ms. Pettingill concerned the details of domestic violence.  Domestic violence usually occurs between two people in an intimate relationship.  They are usually living together but can be living apart.  The perpetrator is usually male with an excessive need to control the relationship.  Domestic violence follows a cycle that repeats itself continually.

The Cycle of Domestic Violence
 

Tension or Build Up (Phase 1)
Increased tension, anger, blaming and arguing. This phase may last a week, months, or years.  However, it usually becomes more frequent as the cycle is repeated.  It typically involves an increase in verbal and minor physical abuse.  Sometimes this is enough to frighten the victim into submission.  The victim knows what will happen if he/she does not comply.  At this point the victim may be amenable to sources of help.


Explosive Incident (Phase 2)
Battering-hitting, slapping, kicking, choking, use of objects or weapons.  Sexual abuse.  Verbal threats and abuse.  During this phase the batterer loses the desire or ability to control his/her anger and violence.  The batterer learns that this type of action helps to "relieve stress" and "change behavior".  Just following this episode the batterer and the partner are most likely to seek help.  The partner is hurt and scared, and the batterer is feeling ashamed, guilty and humiliated.


Honeymoon Stage (Phase 3)
This stage may decrease over time.  The batterer may deny violence; say he/she was drunk, say sorry, and promise that it will never happen again.  The batterer also tells the victim that he/she loves her/him and they both believe it.  The victim is least amenable to help at this point.  However, the batterer may be most open to help at the start of this phase because typically, he/she is remorseful and wishes to please (keep) the partner.  At the peak of this stage both parties may deny or distort what has occurred. 


Then, Phase 1 begins again... The truth is that change is unlikely unless the couple get help.  The victim wants to believe the abuser when they promise it will never happen again, but in most cases it does.  It not only recurs, but escalates each time. 

Suggested References and Resources
Walker, Lenore E. (1979) The Battered Woman. New York: Harper and Row.
Utah Domestic Violence Council web site: www.udvc.org
Video: NO SAFE PLACE; Violence Against Women
YWCA of Salt Lake City web site: www.ywca.com